Make Out Sessions

Life sized cut out of David Duchovny and Juliana Moore 

playing the part of Charleston Heston and Lee Radziwill's stand ins.

 

    It happened last week. I was working away at my desk in Anderson, Indiana when I heard a  male voice, half yelling, "Come back here!" At first, I thought someone was in the building, maybe in the hallway. I got up and went out in the hall. Nothing.
    I went back to my desk, figuring that it was probably someone passing in the street. Then I heard more loud talking. I looked up again and noticed the top of a man's head, just above the bottom part of the window in the show room. I eased over to see what was going on.

    The man looked like a young Charleston Heston, except, without a visible gun. He had yellow hair that was cut into a peach fuzz, flat top. He was in a loud, heated discussion with a woman on the sidewalk

    I got nervous. Was a woman being accosted in the street? Should I call the police? Maybe I should call across the street to have the school maintenance guys come check on this. I was in a quandary.
     I went back to the hallway to peak out from the side. The guy had a yellow scooter sitting beside the sidewalk. It was the smallest scooter I've ever seen. Something a clown would ride.
    The conversation in front of the building continued. They were oblivious to the commotion I had started making in the building to distract them and perhaps get them to move along. After all, if I did have a customer show up to buy cabinets, would they be willing to interrupt this dramatic scene from As the Stomach Turns?"
   And then, things got worse. They started making out right in front of my building! He had the woman pressed against the building and the talking had ceased. Ugh!
    In an act of desperation, I went to the door, threw it open, and interrupted their lovely moment. Wanting to say "Get a room!", I instead asked in a voice sweet as an angel, "Are you guys waiting to get in the building?"
   They both turned my way, a little surprised, and said, almost in unison "Oh, no." without embarrassment or explanation. The guy immediately turned back to look at the woman.  I looked at her, too. She smiled at me, adjusted her sunglasses and gave a small shrugg of her shoulders - like 'that scene went well.' She looked like a movie star with those big, Lee Radziwill (Jackie O's sister) sunglasses and the lovely thin scarf around her neck.
   I went back to my desk and left them to settle up in the street and move on. Suddenly it occurred to me that some kind of soap opera was taking place right out front. High drama, free of charge and if they had waited until night time, the street light on the corner of the building would have lit the scene perfectly.