In Loving Tribute

On October 14, 2008 my aunt Margaret Stevens passed away
from a massive stroke at the age of 84. She was my mother's twin sister. They were not identical in appearance or in nature. Yet, since my mother's death on August 14, 1989 I could not help but see Mama in my aunt Margaret's face.
I didn't go to the funeral since my family is almost 600 miles from here. I tried to talk to friends and family members about my feelings toward Margaret. It didn't help very much.
I had my children come over for dinner on Sunday in honor of our aunt. I told them that it felt wrong to have someone so significant depart my life and the week just go on as usual. I felt that we should be together as a family at a time like this. I wanted to just close my eyes right then and let all that was in me flow out about this sweet lady. However, my husband decided that this was a point where we should review for him just who was who in my family. (By the way, we've been married for 34 years.) So I stopped to bring him up to speed on the fact that Margaret lived with Valorie (her sister - my mother's sister - my other aunt). The mood was broken.
Laying in bed on Sunday night, thinking about the week and my frustration with being unable to put to words just what was going on inside my head, it occured to me that perhaps writing about this sweet lady might help me the most.
My aunt Margaret was quiet and most would think she was meek. Though my Mom told the story of how young, meek Margaret, walking home from school was teased by a fellow classmate. I cannot remember if the bully was teasing Margaret or my Mom but out of the blue, Margaret had had enough and suddenly flew into a flogging fit on the bully. According to Mom, it was amazing!
I never saw this part of aunt Margaret. What I did see was a kind and sweet soul. She always made mention of my hair or what I was wearing as if it were wonderful. Couldn't have a better hair cut or my choice of clothing was the best. Aunt Margaret made me feel like a rock star! I was cool in her eyes.
We lived within walking distance of my grandparents house. Whenever one of us kids (there were 9 of us) got sick, aunt Margaret or my grandmother would take a bread pan, place 4 or 5 teacups inside the pan, fill each cup with a couple of tablespoons of food from their dinner. Then they'd wrap a biscuit or chunk of cornbread in a piece of tinfoil and place that inside the pan too. Finally, they'd cover the entire sampler with a dish towel to keep things warm and bring it over to the sick child. You always felt like you were gonna live when you saw that sampler. It was hope in a bread pan!
Aunt Margaret never married and lived with my grandparents until they passed away. She was a maiden aunt. Anyway, she and my grandmother always had a wonderful Christmas Eve party at their house every year until I was in my late 20's. And they would have a gift under the tree for everyone in attendance. We're talking 5 generations of greats and grands!
My aunt Margaret collected tiny, glass shoes for a number of years. Several years ago she gave me one of the few remaining shoes stating that she wanted me to have a memento of her collection.
Aunt Margaret loved to decorate her house and would change things out constantly. She and my Mom worked in tandum to keeps furniture, lamps, pictures, what-nots, etc. moving from one house to the other. You never knew where the chair you were sitting on today would be next week.
Sometimes, Aunt Margaret dabbled in art. I remember sitting in her living room with two of my sisters and getting the giggles over a plaque that Margaret had made that...well...let's just say she could have been a star in the outsider art movement.
My aunt Margaret worked hard to help her family. In some ways, losing her was like losing Mom all over again. I'll miss her. Ultimately, there are really no words to speak or write that adequately reveal the loss I feel.

Fall Holding Pattern

I'm in a funk. There is no better word to describe it. I don't know if it's the unknown of the election season, the unknown of the economy or just the unknown in general. I'm watching more news than I usually do, even to the point of checking and rechecking the news on the internet. And for those who know me, this isn't me. There's a lot to be said for ignorant bliss.... my usual state.
I was talking to a friend the other day about entrophy... "a measure of the randomness, disorder, or chaos in a system." It's always with us. It's in every system that you can think of be it your heart, your car, the universe or the eye of a needle. Just when you think you have everything perfected entrophy shows up with a rust spot, a blood clot or a mass of dead, fake lady bugs accumulating in the corners of the window screen.
Entrophy is what makes being in a funk so scary. I can sit here and ponder the world in general but that won't stop the bucket of tomatoes sitting in my kitchen from rotting. And I can take action on the tomatoes and something else loses ground.
I believe that being in a funk is necessary sometimes. It gives us humans some rebooting time. A little time to regain our position and get started on new projects or new paths. I'm even contemplating taking a physics class. I feel like my brain needs a stretching. Of course entrophy will be at work on that too. It's such a vicious cycle.

Money talks.

One morning last week I woke up to find that a thick fog was covering my world like a foamy blanket. I decided to take a walk down to the creek to see if I could get some pictures of the herrons that often hang out there. I was right, the herrons were there but they were too fast for me. All the pictures that I took were blurry. So I started back to the house. As I made my way along the road, I happened to glance over at the sunrise and then I looked again. Yeah, a double take! The sun was burning through the mist and the soybean field was golden and glowing and eerie and my mind just sizzled. I took a picture figuring that the glare would be too much but it turned out to be just enough. Man, life on Earth is just a moment to moment mind boggler.
As for "Money talks".... About 8 or 10 years ago, I worked as a bank teller for First of America Bank. I liked the job Ok but didn't care for the head teller who seemed to think the bank was her own personal bank and everyone else working there (including the bank manager) were her bitches. Yet, that job helped me learn something very important. I learned that "FOCUS" or paying attention to details is super important when you are dealing with money. When you walk through the door in the morning, you need to leave all the drama in your personal life behind. Why, because as you are counting out money, those little personal demons will mess with your mind and you will give out too much cash. Bankers don't like that in a teller. Slowing down and paying attention to details is vital in banking.
I don't claim to be any kind of money expert but it made me sad and angry to hear about well known and respected institutions of money in this country getting into such lousy shape because someone, somewhere got in a hurry and let those little greed and pressure demons take charge of their good sense. They lost their respect for money. Details were no longer important. Focus was out the window. Money can be a great tool to make a difference in this mind boggling world. Let's hope this ice water in the face moment in our nation's history will clear some heads and set things on a better path.

A Moving Experience - part 2

Here it is, an empty space ready for it's next occupant. I am amazed at what I have accomplished over a month's time. I had a lot of small things that had to be put into boxes, bags, jars, or anything that could hold extra stuff and take it across the hall. There wasn't time to put anything away because the clock was ticking....September 1st. Thankfully I was able to get finished last Friday. I wanted to post this picture and give a shout out to a wonderful space. I loved this room! It's big and has this fabulous skylight. The skylight was so nice to let in natural light and when it rained outside, I could hear the raindrops pitter against the skylight. It felt like a little tap dance just for me. And it always made this large space seem so cozy.

I also wanted to post a picture of my night blooming cereus - a cactus that is starting to take over the building. I placed it on top of a built in office in this building. I think it likes my choice of placement as just in a week's time, it's leaves are starting to sprout babies.

And I just have to show you the 2 supply closets that will become my new studio. As I have already told you, I just set things down in there and kept moving. Now that the moving phase is over, I can take a little time and go through this stuff. Hopefully, I will be able to let go of some things that I would have to live two life times to get around to making things with them.

A Moving Experience

August has been a hot month! And I'm not just talking about the heat! I've been so busy that I am not sure if I am coming or going or just gettting back from where I went. We've had visitors. My darling sister, Marlene and her daughter Johnsie and Johnsie's two sons, Alex and Ethan came for a visit the first week of August! I enjoyed their visit so much. Marlene and I went searching for things to go in her home to create a lodge look. We visited the Lake and Lodge store in Arcadia, Indiana. We went to lunch at the Loon Lake Lodge on 82nd street. She loved that place with their animated bears and various other wildlife. And we went to the Shellhouse in Indianapolis. It's a 5 story storage building which is owned by my husband. She found a love seat and rocker that will be perfect in her lodge living room. The boys played a lot of croquet and I do mean a lot! Ethan won the championship tournament!

Then a week after they went back to North Carolina, my son, Ben came for a two week visit from Los Angeles. He wanted to meet his new niece - Korrine. Like the rest of us, he just melted at the sight of her. It is always love at first sight with that baby. And of course he was constantly finding ways to have adventures with his two brothers and sister. Somehow a garden cart became a ready made ricshaw (sp?) Having him home was wonderful!

Also, I want to mention something wonderful that happened during HOT! August. My youngest son, Harrison, my baby, got engaged to the lovely Brittany B. They have been going together for almost 5 years and plan a July 09 wedding.

On top of all of that, I found out at the end of July that the renters in the back of the building are expanding their business and will be taking over my studio. They need my wonderful space. So for the past 3 weeks I have been boxing up and moving to the other side of the building into a space I have come to call "The Inner Sanctum." It's basically 2 huge supply closets. I'm including a few pictures of the move in process.
There is nothing like moving to clue a person into the fact that they have too much stuff. These pictures are the before pictures... though I did have a bunch of boxes piled up in the room on the left. At this point, the last week of August, I have almost completed the move out. I will post some more pictures in a day or so to show all the stuff that needs to be put away. It was just imperitive that I get the space cleared out as they have semi trucks on the way with stuff that will fill that wonderful space.

Philip's Dream - "Travelling Through a Hostile Land"

They were moving slowly down the street
carried by a driver.
Nervous, he saw two children
with branches.
It struck a chord of fear
as if a sign.
This is not right,
speed it up!
Get out of here quickly!
The Arab man
in the kitchen of his fine home
was startled.
He looked up to see an old man -
a Jew. He was in his home - uninvited.
"What do you want?"
"What are you doing here?"
His children, a boy and a girl
looked aghast.
His wife was horrified.
"Step outside" the old man said.
"I want to talk to you."
They walked out to the garden
then the street.
"I want you to rent me a room."
Before the Arab could answer
a shot rang out.
The daughter, shotgun in hand,
had blasted both the Jew and her father.
They both lay in the street.
The Arab wounded, the Jew dead.
The mother horrified, grabbed the shotgun
and her daughter and quickly put them
both in the house.
She said said "Look what you have done...
he was our support."
She returned to help her husband back in just as a torrential
rain began to fall.
The water flooded the street and
the body of the Jew washed randomly under a parked car.
Two people observed this bizzare scene.
One turned to the other and asked
"Why do they leave the dead man's body
in the street?"
The answer "He is a Jew, that's how
they treat the Jews."
The young boy goes to the back door of the house.
There is another Jew there.
He has a scooter, a push scooter.
He tells the boy, "You can have this."
The boy gratefully accepts.
The other Jew turns to leave
and sees the boy come to him.
He presents him with a gift
two beat up shoes - more precisely a
shoe and a sandal.
The Jew accepts the gift and leaves.

"I am reminded of a true story. One Jewish man, perhaps confused, perhaps deranged, perhaps on a mission from G_d, was walking randomly from his home in a Jewish settlement on the West Bank through Arab territory. He was killed and his body was found, perhaps his killers were never found. What would happen if a thousand Jews, each alone, went on such a walk. Would they all be killed? And if they were, suppose a thousand more walked the next day and a thousand more the next? What would happen?"

Happy Holidays - Summer Style!

Maybe some of you thought that I had dropped off the Earth. I have been to North Carolina during July to visit my family. I had such a great time! Usually I come back ready to be back. This time was different. I had so much fun, first off traveling down there with my daughter -Kora, her husband - Jonathan, my granddaughter - Korinne and Jon's mother - Nancy. We stayed together for the week in my sister's house (which once belonged to my parents). I loved it! At the end of the first week, they came home and I spent the rest of the time visiting my sisters and brothers. I'm homesick. When I hear my sisters talking about getting together to go to the pool, I am soooooooo jealous!

I guess that you noticed the holidays theme with the opening photo. Santa, shopper girl, a snowman bell and a little touch of glitter stars. Well, my friend Ruth and I were talking several months ago about how we can't get jazzed up to make Christmas crafts until after Thanksgiving. After that crucial time we both go at gift making like crazy. So I told her that on July 25, I am officially starting my holidays. I am playing carols and looking at Christmas stuff - ornaments, glitter, tinsel, etc. Which brings me to bears. For some reason, I am wanting to make some teddy bears but with a paper mache bear head. Here's a picture of where I'm at in the process.

And now for another North Carolina moment. I was walking up on the hill with my sister to check her water line for lizards. She has a spring and a spring box but sometimes lizards get in the tubing and really stop things up. As we were walking back down the hill, I noticed what a great garden my brother has out this year. You should see his cabbages - my favorite vegetable!Anyone who knows me knows how I love gardens. So I'm including a garden view from the Pisgah National Forest in the Blue Ridge Mountains - my home away from home.