The face of change

Autumn has come to the flat lands. And just when you start to think it's all about the colors, look around for the textures. This past weekend I was hiking with a friend through a prairie field. In the distance were beautiful trees dressed in their wonderful colors of orange, red and yellow. As we stepped to the edge of the trail to look at the wild grass, these seed pods caught my eye. Their dead, gray orbs stood in stark contrast against the warm grasses. Autumn felt more dimensional with this discovery. It's not just the leaves that are changing with the seasons. Everything is changing.

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Here it is, your moment of zen.

Testing - testing - testing

I am attempting to load a small video clip to this blog entry. It is an entry that means nothing - it's only a test.

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Here it is, your moment of zen.

MY MOM - AGENT OF CHANGE

     I suppose most folks think of October and autumn as the end of things. The growing season is finished in the garden. Summer is over.... real over! And the kids have gone back to school... the party's over! They don't call it "fall" for nothing. It's easy to get a little depressed this time of year. Even with the autumn
sunlight being so vibrant, depression can sneak up on a person like some ghoul out of a horror house.  
     Yet, for some reason, I've been thinking about change lately. My husband and I were watching "This Week" on ABC this past Sunday morning. They were hosting a special with a title of "Does America Fear Muslims?"  (or something like that). It was a very interesting question and answer session with about 100 people taking part - either as experts  on Islam - either pro or con or as audience members.
     Somehow, I got to thinking about my mother. I grew up in a religious section of the country... namely the south.  And what I am about to say may sound old fashioned or slanted or something but sometimes I think that what some parts of the Muslim world are experiencing can be related in someway to what my mom and the women of the 50's were experiencing before things started to change.
     When I was a little girl, my mom stayed at home with us kids. Then she decided that she wanted to have a job. She wanted her own money as my dad did not see the importance of having the things that she did, (like an indoor toilet).  And I can remember the two of them "discussing" her having a job. His argument was that he was the breadwinner, she didn't need a job. Her argument was that the baby was just a couple of years from going to school and opportunity was knocking. They went round and round....  and mama got a job.
Well, dad settled in on the idea of his wife working.  He wasn't totally ridiculed by his peers, as he'd feared, about his uppity, working wife. Truth be known, his peer's wives were getting jobs too.
     Then came pant suits in the 60's! That fashion trend rolled into town and my mom was thoroughly ready to hop aboard! She loved pant suits! And she wanted to wear pant suits. This caused a BIG argument between my mom and dad. My dad was the only one wearing the pants in that relationship! At least that was his stand on the subject!  I am not sure how my mom won that argument but she did wear pant suits from then on. And not only did she look marvelous, but nobody would have mistaken her for a man.
     So how does this relate to the Muslim world? Well, I remember hearing or reading that the  leader of the September 11 tragedy left instructions that no women were ever to step foot or come near his memorial or attend any memorial services for him. He left all kind of anti women instructions. So how much of the anti-west thinking is a result of the friction that is resulting from the Muslim women craving change?
I don't think that the majority of Muslims are anti women but the hard core ones are running scared. Is this their pant suit moment?

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Here it is, your moment of zen.

Nic Marks: The Happy Planet Index | Video on TED.com

Nic Marks: The Happy Planet Index Video on TED.com

And now it's autumn.

Hello world. Welcome to your autumn experience. If you are living in an area that witnesses the four seasons, expect falling leaves. I spent the morning going through some old papers. I tossed most of them out. They were out of date. I spent a little time on some of my favorite computer sites and then decided that, perhaps, if I hurry, I can still do something significant with this day. It is 2 pm already and I've been to Facebook, Yahoo and Ebay about a dozen times. Such a waste. I don't mean that those sites are a waste, I mean, that rat, running to the feeding stall for another cup of  pressed corn pellets, action.
I did venture over to Ted.com and listened to a speech on the Happiness Planet. Imagine the concept of a world based on a nation's happiness level instead of their accrued income. It's a strange concept. The very idea of making a world where happiness really matters. And having this happy world also designed around the idea of taking less from the planet. Did you know that Costa Rica is the happiest country? Our American culture is in the throes of the dark ages of violent movies, computer games, literature, personal relationships and throwing up walls to solve problems.
Well, Rome was not built in a day but it was built. We could rethink things in America. We're innovators. I'll try to attach the speech that I listened to today....

The speech should be above this post.

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Here it is, your moment of zen.

A few thoughts on worry

       It is windy here today. I look out the window and notice the trees in my yard, the cornfield across the road and the clouds in the sky responding to the urging winds.  Everything is being blown about, out of control in unison. The morning started out with me edging close to a panic attack. My heart was racing, my breath - stuck in my throat, and my muscles ready to sprint. I had a dental appointment.
       I knew that this would be an expensive visit. I was scheduled to receive 2 crowns and I'm not even royalty.  Now as I waited to enter the dental zone, I started to notice my feelings. I even asked myself why was I feeling so stressed.
      The truth is, I've delayed this visit / procedure / decision since April. Back then the dentist told me that I would need 2 molars crowned. She looked in my mouth so matter-of-factly, told me I'd need crowning and then added "you might even need root canals." Which made me wonder if a person can faint sitting down. I even wondered about her bedside manner...."hey lady, there's a human heart in this body!"  I'm thinking a person should be taken into a chapel for news like that.... at least a little soft music and a box of tissue.
       I left the office pondering how to clue my frugal husband in on this news. And to tell you the truth, I didn't even mention this to him until this morning. I pictured him laying flat out on the floor with me wielding a defibrillator and shouting "clear!"  Instead, he just mentioned something about a health savings account and handed me a check book.
      Today I learned a big lesson - again. First off, there is no figuring my spouse, and try to stop worrying. Mostly, try to stop worrying. You see, I have been carrying those dentist's words around with me since April. I have pondered those words at all moments of the day. I have laid awake at night thinking about those crowns.  Why? I'm not sure.  This is the way worry wields it's tentacles into our souls.
      I come from a long line of worriers. My mother had this fear that someone would break in on her and my Dad and do them great harm. She had that "Husband murdered - wife raped then murdered" headline playing in her head for a large part of her life. She was normally an upbeat person but lived that mental horror.
      As the panic started building this morning and I found myself able to name it, I began an inner dialogue...."calm down, breathe, think of something fun and positive, everything is going to be ok, you want to keep your teeth." This helped.
   I went to the dentist. I only needed the crowns - no root canals. Everyone was very patient with me,  the sun was shining, the dentist with the charming bedside manner was not on duty, the dentist with actual charm was on duty,  my husband never insisted on looking in my mouth, the numbness finally wore off, I took needed action and can move on.
     They say that worry is a wasted emotion. Worry is fear in disguise. Maybe I have learned my lesson but if I haven't.... I'm not going to worry about it!

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Here it is, your moment of Zen....

N.C. Recap

By now, many of you will have lost interest in my last blog about the gravel road and the yard sale to raise funds for gravel for the road. And who will be Barge God - lost from your mind. But there are those who have asked for an update. And there have been so many attempts at an update only to have the updates tossed away like balled up paper hitting the trash can rim. The mood has evaded me. Today, I begin again. At the end of July, I loaded up my car with my yard sale items and my personal stuff and headed south. North Carolina was in my sites. I was looking forward to seeing my family and having some fun in the process.

I got such a kick out of helping my sisters with various summer projects. I sat with Grace as she recuperated from her knee surgery. I tagged along with Marlene as she shopped for new bedding, hung some more state plates in her state plate collection, and watched as she admired the Bear Mountain Lodge painting that I made for her. I helped Rebecca as she, Marlene, Jack and I cut corn off the cob for freezing. And I tried to encourage my baby sister Rachel as she was dealing with a personal set back of her own. Of course, I enjoyed swimming in the pool at my brother Doug's. And had dinner at my brother Elihu's house.  It was also good to see my sister JoAnne and her family. I love all my sibs so much!

I have to admit though, that above all I really appreciate the way my family turned out to help with our gravel fund raiser.

   It was hot! I believe it was close to 100 degrees on the Sunday afternoon we gathered to sell our goods. We had so many wonderful and unique things to choose from. My sister Rebecca had women's cowgirl shirts, magazines, grab bags, and an assortment of household items. My sister Marlene has some quilts, toys for the kids, and a pound cake that almost started a bidding war between my nephew Zane and I. I pulled out my stuff only to realize that I had forgotten the Barge God hard hat at home! Along with all the other items that I had highlighted in my previous post. But I did bring a 2 x 3 foot poster of Elvis that was a crowd pleaser. It too almost caused a bidding war. My nephew Jody brought 2 pints of blueberry jam that his wife had made...I scooped those up before anyone could even see he'd taken them out to sell! My niece, Neva brought 2 super cool cowboy hats which made the day for my nephew Zeb's 2 children. And the best, most dear thing to me was that people bought stuff and donated money very generously to help get gravel for the road. We ended up raising $205.00.  I am so blessed to have such a fabulous family!

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      Here it is, your moment of Zen!