On October 14, 2008 my aunt Margaret Stevens passed awayfrom a massive stroke at the age of 84. She was my mother's twin sister. They were not identical in appearance or in nature. Yet, since my mother's death on August 14, 1989 I could not help but see Mama in my aunt Margaret's face.
I didn't go to the funeral since my family is almost 600 miles from here. I tried to talk to friends and family members about my feelings toward Margaret. It didn't help very much.
I had my children come over for dinner on Sunday in honor of our aunt. I told them that it felt wrong to have someone so significant depart my life and the week just go on as usual. I felt that we should be together as a family at a time like this. I wanted to just close my eyes right then and let all that was in me flow out about this sweet lady. However, my husband decided that this was a point where we should review for him just who was who in my family. (By the way, we've been married for 34 years.) So I stopped to bring him up to speed on the fact that Margaret lived with Valorie (her sister - my mother's sister - my other aunt). The mood was broken.
Laying in bed on Sunday night, thinking about the week and my frustration with being unable to put to words just what was going on inside my head, it occured to me that perhaps writing about this sweet lady might help me the most.
My aunt Margaret was quiet and most would think she was meek. Though my Mom told the story of how young, meek Margaret, walking home from school was teased by a fellow classmate. I cannot remember if the bully was teasing Margaret or my Mom but out of the blue, Margaret had had enough and suddenly flew into a flogging fit on the bully. According to Mom, it was amazing!
I never saw this part of aunt Margaret. What I did see was a kind and sweet soul. She always made mention of my hair or what I was wearing as if it were wonderful. Couldn't have a better hair cut or my choice of clothing was the best. Aunt Margaret made me feel like a rock star! I was cool in her eyes.
We lived within walking distance of my grandparents house. Whenever one of us kids (there were 9 of us) got sick, aunt Margaret or my grandmother would take a bread pan, place 4 or 5 teacups inside the pan, fill each cup with a couple of tablespoons of food from their dinner. Then they'd wrap a biscuit or chunk of cornbread in a piece of tinfoil and place that inside the pan too. Finally, they'd cover the entire sampler with a dish towel to keep things warm and bring it over to the sick child. You always felt like you were gonna live when you saw that sampler. It was hope in a bread pan!
Aunt Margaret never married and lived with my grandparents until they passed away. She was a maiden aunt. Anyway, she and my grandmother always had a wonderful Christmas Eve party at their house every year until I was in my late 20's. And they would have a gift under the tree for everyone in attendance. We're talking 5 generations of greats and grands!
My aunt Margaret collected tiny, glass shoes for a number of years. Several years ago she gave me one of the few remaining shoes stating that she wanted me to have a memento of her collection.
Aunt Margaret loved to decorate her house and would change things out constantly. She and my Mom worked in tandum to keeps furniture, lamps, pictures, what-nots, etc. moving from one house to the other. You never knew where the chair you were sitting on today would be next week.
Sometimes, Aunt Margaret dabbled in art. I remember sitting in her living room with two of my sisters and getting the giggles over a plaque that Margaret had made that...well...let's just say she could have been a star in the outsider art movement.
My aunt Margaret worked hard to help her family. In some ways, losing her was like losing Mom all over again. I'll miss her. Ultimately, there are really no words to speak or write that adequately reveal the loss I feel.
