Signs and Wonders

I had a hard time getting to sleep last night. Just before the midnight hour, I believe I witnessed a sign from the other side. Allow me to explain. Yesterday, March 23 was my Mama's birthday. I remembered it when I woke up and was making the bed. I did the math and figured that if she were still alive, "today she would be 85 years old." I smiled.
Later in the day, my baby sister called to chat and mentioned it was mom's birthday. I told her that I had been thinking of Mama this morning and we started to talk about how we miss her. At about this time a customer came into the cabinet store that I run so I had to go.
I tried to call my sister back after the customer left but she had gotten to class and did not answer.
Then late last night, my husband and I were laying in bed watching television. I hate to admit it but I have a love / hate relationship with the show The Family Guy. That raunchy show cracks me up, then they hit a nerve and I swear that I wonder if I should even be watching this mess. The jury is still out. So I'm watching the show and as many of you may know they oftentimes cut away to some side story. The cut aways knock me out! Hilarious! So last night at the end of the show, they cut away to an actual recorded tape of Conway Twitty. I have seen them do this before - they run a clip of Conway Twitty for about a minute or less. And it is very rare that they cut to Conway Twitty - maybe twice a season. So my husband mentions that he had never seen them cut to actual tape instead of a cartoon. I said that I've seen them do it a few times. And then I mention that Conway Twitty was my Mama's favorite singer. And it occured to me that it seemed a strange coincidence that Conway Twitty would be on television on my Mama's birthday. And maybe it's a sign. And what was he singing:

Hello Darlin, nice to see you.
It's been a long time.
You're as lovely as you used to be.
How's your new love? Are you happy?
Hope you're doin fine.
Just to know means so much to me.

End of cut away....and I noticed that as he was singing these lines, the camera slowly closed in on his face to add punch to his lyrics....like this was her personal message to me. I'm taking it as a sign. Hello to you too!

P.S. My Mama loved Conway Twitty so much she named a dog after him! Now, that's devotion.

Yah for Spring!

This morning as I watched the news, I noticed a little count down clock in the corner of the screen that indicated so many minutes before the beginning or spring. At the point of my noticing, it was 13 minures so many seconds. How they know the beginning of the individual seasons to this degree - I just don't know. It reminds me of when my husband and I visited some Inca ruins and they had built these buildings eons ago and set them up so that when the soltice arrived, the Incas knew by a beam of light. I guess it's the same thing for Stonehenge. Huge timepieces that keep us humans in the know. But to me the seasons begin more gradually than a count down clock. I know that spring is here or near here when I see robins. And last week, I woke up one morning and a bird was singing somewhere outside in the wild world. And little flowers are starting to peek out. And the buds are starting to swell on the trees which in turn gives a spring blush to the far away forest. And I have started to dig through the piles of "get to one day" boxes that have been waiting for attention. And also, I have started going through my house plants, pulling off the dead stuff and deciding which ones need a new pot to grow in. Finally, in Indiana you know it's spring time when you start noticing a "tornado watch" icon on the television screen. No need to erect a monument, just pay attention to the signs.

Nichol House Update

It has been a tough week at the Nichol house project. I have been repairing walls since I began work here in January. I have all the wallpaper off the walls, including the stairwell. Last week I stood near the top of the 12 foot ladder, near the top of the first run of stairs - maybe 2 steps before the landing and I happened to notice that I also had a tootsie roll pop in my mouth. I laughed. The mother in me was having a fit. This week I am taping and mudding the walls. I am not so good at this stuff. I remember seeing my Dad do this when I was a kid. He was a natural. I hate it! Sometimes I feel like I am doing one gigantic paper mache project. The walls are starting to look a little better and soon I will begin the sanding and second mudding of these walls.

You may notice a date stamped in this image. I have not travelled back in time. My camera messed up and I just don't have the time to photoshop this picture. ..taken today March 19, 2009.

The saving grace about this week is that spring begins tomorrow. I've already been seeing the evidence but it will be nice to have it official. I have seeds, bulbs and roots just chomping at the bit to get into the earth. And I've promised my daughter that I will grow her a dahlia garden as a birthday gift. So now there are several bags of dahlia tubers waiting for spring weather too.

Jon's moms

I was at my daughter's house recently for the celebration of my grand daughter's first birthday. Actually, there was a house full of people helping to celebrate. At one point I found myself sitting in the entry den with two other women - my son in law's flesh and blood mother and his step mother. We three mothers had moved to this room because it was the coolest spot in the house. Jon's mother mentioned that she liked my writing and at this point his step mother said she liked my writing too. I was flattered.

Most of the time I enjoy writing. Writers tie a knot in time. They document what has transpired. Without writers it would be a lot harder to avoid repeating history. How would we know?

I was thinking about this very thing the other night... writing as a means to document what has gone before. I was laying in bed with my husband. He had already gone to sleep and the sound of his sleep apnea machine made a soft, soothing sound as he slept. I call it his dream machine because since he has started wearing it, he has recalled more dreams. He just calls it the "iron lung." The lights were out and the television played like a beacon in the dark. A program came on PBS. It was a presentation which had been recorded maybe 30 or 40 years ago. Before me was a choir of about 40 people wearing robes of white and tourquoise. Leaning back on my stack of pillows, it occurerd to me that many of these people were probably already in heaven. How many of them had gone home that day to some kind of horror or some kind of delight? And for an instant, there in the dark, I felt like I was looking back in time. I was actually looking back on a chunk of time from decades past. And I felt excited.

So how does this relate to Jon's moms in the den talking about writing. Well, that moment in time is now committed to writing. That moment in the den floats the internet. And who knows, maybe 30 years from this day, some person may accidentally pull up this blog and there they will read that 3 women sat and talked and celebrated the first year of life of a sweet little girl.

Longing for spring

I woke up early this morning. It must have been 3 am. It seemed light outside so I thought it must be around 7. I was ready to get up and start the day. So I was sort of disappointed to check the clock and find that it was only 3. I went back to bed and lay awake for another hour and then just gave up and climbed out of bed. I turned on the computer and checked several of my favorite stomping grounds. One of my favorites is Pam Garrison's Flickr photostream. She has some beautiful photos of home and garden. I was looking at her garden photos and what with the weather being 65 degrees or more yesterday, I started jonesing for the garden. I am so ready to start laying out my plans. I spent a little time this morning looking at some of my garden pictures from last year. The above picture is of a flower called love in a mist. I'm not sure why or how it got that name but I do love it! - mist or not. CORRECTION 3-08-09 The flower pictured above is actually bachelor button. It is very similar to love in a mist thus the mix up....sorry.

UPDATE ON THE NICHOL HOUSE:
I got all the wallpaper steamed off the walls in the entry foyer and then washed the glue off the walls in there as well. Also, all the floor tiles have been removed from the foyer and most of the wood flooring has been cleared of glue.

Finally - I think this cow of ours, hates me as everytime she gets near me she stares me down and starts shaking her head back and forth like a pendulum - like she is contemplating a major head butt between us. She freaks me out but I cannot imagine what I did to get on her bad side.

a new day - a new view

"What a difference a day makes, 24 little hours..." the lyrics of this song pretty much sums up my feelings this morning. I am in a good mood. Yesterday I wrote about anger. I've had 3 people contact me about that anger entry. My sister was worried and called last night, a friend wrote me through facebook and my sweet niece left a comment. Overnight I slept and during that commatose state, discovered my path. Anger can often lead to lashing out and maybe sometimes that is what needs to happen. Yet I am a strong believer in direct diplomacy. I'll get back to you on that.

AN UPDATE ON THE NICHOL HOUSE:

Phil brought the 10 foot ladder by the Nichol house on Sunday so first thing Monday I just had to see how that would work in the stairwell. It works great. I have been able to clear away most of the wallpaper. And 2 things have occured to me while standing on the ladder in the middle of the stairwell. How did the wallpaper hangers, who hung this wallpaper in this stairwell, do it? (and I am talking about a pattern that had to be matched rather precisely) And then how am I going to get to the wallpaper that is in a no reach location in the upper regions of this stairwell where my ladder won't reach? This is where the overnight commatose "brainiel" download helped immensely. It came to me as I was looking at some of these pictures that I took yesterday of the stairwell. I will put my plan into action and get back to you with the results. Needless to say, I am inspired.

PS - Please note the steamer hanging from the ladder with it's cloud of hot steam releasing into the atmosphere. Steaming hot! And baby that tool gets to the very core of old stuff just hanging on - kind of like pure honest anger. (oh man, I am so on a roll!)

IN DEFENSE OF ANGER!

Today I am giving a little, long due respect to anger. I am talking about "I will crush you" anger! I fill ticked off. A loved one of mine has been done dirty and I am calling out to the universe for justice! Let me tell you what good, clean anger does. IT clears the air! IT puts everything out there on the burn pile. I want to see the flames! I am in a mama bear/ slash and burn mode and it feels dangerous. In a writing advice book by Anne Lamott (I cannot think of the title right now), she says write the truth. I am so close to writing the truth right here and right now that it is all I can do to hold back - that is anger knocking at the door. The door will stay closed for now as my loved one needs to find the path to his own anger. IT is there. But the clock is ticking.